Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Ka ching

Di satu pagi yang hening di hari minggu

Kring.. Kring..

Umi: Salam.. Tengah buat ape, hari tu umi miss call kenape x call balik?
Aku: Kredit xde
Umi: Kenape? takde duit sangat dah ke?
Aku: Aah.. Kat bank tinggal RM28 je, kat tangan ade RM100
Umi: bagi no akaun nanti umi masukkan

***********************************************

Keesokan harinya, di ATM pak guard

ATM: Baki akaun anda RM 228
Aku: Yay... lepas duit minyak n makan untuk 2 minggu..

Kesimpulannya, walaupun umur dah nak masuk 24, still mintak duit parent. So hargailah ibu bapa anda, Jangan sekali-kali menderhaka. Tanpa mereka, sapelah nak tolong time sengkek macam ni.. dan janganlah boros berbelanja...

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Breakfast: Beauty Pop

I just had my breakfast today. Not NAsi Lemak or something but it is shojo manga, Beauty Pop. I'm into many genres of manga, be it shonen, shoujo, seinen etc but i'm very selective in reading shojo. Not all shoujo manga is good but some are.

Beauty Pop is about a group of people with talents to be beauticians. they started with a small club in school until finally they are able to build their own empire with obstacles along the way. they give their client the magic to be a more attractive person. the manga has a sense of comedy, a bit on envy, jealousy, romantic, friendship, betrayal and more. I finished the 10 volume manga in about 1 and 1/2 days. it is a good and relax read.


i just got some news regarding manga from Japan. they are going to ban manga with explicit sex content or something or else the mangaka will be fined. well, not that i care but i think it may affect the industry. it seems the bill is being opposed by mangakas and publishers. so maybe in the future no more hentai, yuri, yaoi, shonen ai, and shojo ai. well, who knows.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

I'm hooked: Nausicaa of the valley wind

I just finished watching anime from ghibli studio. Nausicaa of the valley wind. Even though the anime was produced in 1983 it is still impressive. The anime is about Nausicaa, a princess of valley wind, a kingdom which located near to toxic forest. the princess has the ability to interact with insects from toxic forest and Ohmu, a strange insect which guard the forest and she is very skilled in flying a jet called glider. Human cannot enter the toxic village without mask as it is lethal. one day, the kingdom of valley wind was attacked by a powerful state of Tolmekia. The state of Tolmekia and another kingdom, Pejite want to destroy the toxic forest by using giant soldier which was made from ancient technology. This has enraged the Ohmu, the guardian of toxic forest and cause them to attack the kingdom Pejite and valley wind. Nausicaa try to stop the attack by sacrificing her life. Finally she was able to calm the enraged ohmu and stop the attack. Nausicaa found that the toxic forest exists to purify the pollution on earth and ohmu guard the forest to maintain its existence.

The enraged Ohmu

the giant soldier

Nausicaa wearing mask rescuing Asbel (the prince of Pejite)

Nausicaa on her glider chased by Tolmekia gunship

Since i'm already hooked with the anime, I'm currently reading the manga. I hope the manga is very good an worth reading.

Japanese usually take the idea from their manga and anime seriously. This is the video of the glider test flight. I hope the glider can be marketed in the future..

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Opportunity Cost

Opportunity cost = benefit that forgone when you choose an alternative over the next best alternative

The concept is very simple, but the application is very wide.

Example:
you've got two choices, studying or loitering, you choose loitering then you lose the time to study, in the end you will cram studying in two/ one weeks before the final exam.

you've got two choices, doing assignment or sleeping. you choose to sleep. the time which supposedly used to do assignment will never come back. In the end, you've got too many assignments to do until you don't know which to start first

you've got two choices. doing report or going back home. you choose to go back home. then, you cannot finish report in time and cannot submit it on time.

you've got two choices, studying for quiz or hanging around. you choose to hang around with your friends. then you cannot finish the topics supposed to be covered. in the end, you just berserah and do the quiz halfheartedly.

solution:
Prioritize!!
you cannot have both in a very limited time. then, you've got to choose wisely, present happiness or future brightness. the decision is in your hand.

This is reminder for myself and also others. I've already lose hope for this semester. may i can survive next semester.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Doa & kucheng

O Allah! I seek refuge in You from sorrow and sadness, and I seek refuge in You from unablness and laziness, and I seek refuge in You from cawordliness and miserliness, and I seek refuge in You from the harshness of debt and the overpower of men.

Ya Allah, aku berlndung kepada-Mu dari kebingungan dan kedukacitaan. Aku berlindung kepada-Mu dari sifat lemah dan malas. Aku berlindung kepada-Mu dari sifat penakut dan bakhil. Aku berlindung kepada-Mu dari beban hutang dan penindasan orang


Say: I seek refuge with the Lord of the Dawn. From the mischief of created things. From the mischief of Darkness as it overspreads. From the mischief of those who practise secret arts. And from the mischief of the envious one as he practises envy.

katakanlah olehmu ya Muhammad, saya berlindung dengan tuhan yang menjadikan semua makhluk, daripada segala kejahatan apa yang telah dia jadikan, dan dari kejadian malam yang sangat gelap, dari segala kejahatan tukang-tukang hasut dan dari segala kejahatan pendengki apabila ia dengki


لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتْ وَعَلَيْهَا مَا اكْتَسَبَتْ رَبَّنَا لَا تُؤَاخِذْنَا إِنْ نَسِينَا أَوْ أَخْطَأْنَا رَبَّنَا وَلَا تَحْمِلْ عَلَيْنَا إِصْرًا كَمَا حَمَلْتَهُ عَلَى الَّذِينَ مِنْ قَبْلِنَا رَبَّنَا وَلَا تُحَمِّلْنَا مَا لَا طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِ وَاعْفُ عَنَّا وَاغْفِرْ لَنَا وَارْحَمْنَا أَنْتَ مَوْلَانَا فَانْصُرْنَا عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْكَافِرِينَ

Allah burdens not any soul beyond its capacity. It shall have the reward it earns, and it shall get the punishment it incurs. Our Lord, do not punish us, if we forget or fall into error; and our Lord, lay not on us a responsibility as Thou didst lay upon those before us. Our Lord, burden us not with what we have not the strength to bear; and efface our sins, and grant us forgiveness and have mercy on us; Thou art our Master; so help us Thou against the disbelieving people.

Allah tidak membebani seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya. Ia mendapat pahala (dari kebajikan) yang diusahakannya dan ia mendapat siksa (dari kejahatan) yang dikerjakannya. (Mereka berdo`a): Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau hukum kami jika kami lupa atau kami tersalah. Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau bebankan kepada kami beban yang berat sebagaimana Engkau bebankan kepada orang-orang yang sebelum kami. Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau pikulkan kepada kami apa yang tak sanggup kami memikulnya. Beri maaflah kami; ampunilah kami; dan rahmatilah kami. Engkaulah Penolong kami, maka tolonglah kami terhadap kaum yang kafir.

Di kala hati tak berapa gembira, mehla kita tengok aksi tido kucheng2 ini

Kuning besar

Kelabu

Comot

Comel (newcomer)

Kuning kecik

zooming
Comel lagi

Comot & Kuning kecik

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Aku

Ini adalah duka-duka aku di Rx6th

Bila aku bertanya dalam kelas --> aku nak tunjuk pandai

Bila disoal dalam kelas dan disuruh tulis kat depan --> aku disuruh ke depan

Bila takde sape nak masuk kuiz wakil sister --> orang cari aku walaupun aku tak pandai

Bila aku bertanya khabar --> aku dikatakan mengejek

Bila aku cuba mempersoalkan sesuatu keputusan --> aku mencabar tuan

Bila bas aku pukul 10 --> aku menyusahkan sume orang, sebab aku sume program cancel walaupun aku beli tiket lepas konfem tentatif & lepas aku sure ade orang nak kejar LRT
(x perlu suggest psl naik bus ekspress dr penang, mmg da rancang klu tentatif xberubah)

Bila aku mintak drop kat tol jalan duta --> aku buat driver bas macam driver aku padahal jalan tu mmg on the way nak pegi ke lebuhraya pantai timur dan aku tak mintak driver turunkan aku depan terminal LRT macam sesetengah orang

Bila aku xpegi program --> serius kecoh, tapi orang tak pegi kelas, tak kecoh pun

Bila aku tulis entri ni ----> sure2 orang kata aku nak mengungkit n x ikhlas kan? pastu nak defend diri n blame orang lain kan? habis tu, selama ni aku dicemuh je, tanpa soal selidik, macamla aku hati aku ni batu, so terpaksa meh.

simpulan bahasa:
Talam dua muka,
maksudnya depan si A cakap lain, depan si B cakap lain
contoh:
Nak balik cepat, nak kejar LRT, LRT sampai kul 12 je
Bile petang, sapa2 nak balik awal, sila turun dari bas ni.. fuh fuhh..

Sorry, i know who you are already.

It seems like this post will offend somebody, but why not?
Anyway, tq very much!! i have so much sweet memory in this class
keep on mengumpat n menfitnah..

Friday, September 3, 2010

Mibu & Jew

When I read manga, I cannot help to relate them with the real life. I'm a person with high level of curiosity, and if I'm curious I will find out about something from different angels so that I don't stick to only one story. Not long ago I'm curious about Jew. As a Muslim, i learn about Jew since I was little, but not as a whole so some facts are missing. because of that, I try to read about them. And what I read is really shocking, some actually contradicts with what I perceived before. And surprisingly, when I read about them, I cannot help but to compare them with a clan called Mibu in a manga, Kyo Samurai Deeper.

Mibu:
Mibu clan in Kyo Samurai Deeper is a race of superhuman. They have high level of knowledge in science and technology. With that, they are able to live longer than normal human and has been controlling Japan in a shadow. It can be said that they are the one that rule Japan since they choose who are going to be the ruler of Japan and they are the one that influence the history of Japan. Since they are more powerful than the rest of human, they refer themselves as god and become arrogant.
However, the later generation of Mibu suffers from incurable disease and when they die, the body disperses without leaving a trace. It was later revealed that the real Mibu clan has actually extinct long time ago because they fight each other for greater power and the one that replaces them is only a battle doll made by the true Mibu clan.

Jew:
Since I was little, I view Jew as a race, which embrace a religion called Judaism and they call their god as YHWH. I believe most muslims share the same view. Jew called themselves as a chosen people which is agreed by christian. The rest of human is called goyim or gentile which put them at level higher than the rest of human. I always wonder how a race which is said the oldest race that still survive which is claimed to had undergone genocide and victimized since forever can actually escape from extinction. Then, later i knew the real fact. It lies on the definition of Jew itself.

Actually there are problems in determining who is a Jew. Sounds weird, but yes it is.

One is considered as Jew by birth or by conversion.
There are some laws for determination of Jewish identity by birth. Torah forbids Jew to intermarry with non-Jew since they consider Jew and the rest of human as different species. If a Jew marries with non-Jew, the Jewish identity is passed by the Jewish mother. but this contradicts with the karaite Judaism (a Judaism movement) which considers Jewishness is passed from the Jewish father.

For becoming a Jew through conversion, one has to go through strict procedure before being acknowledged as a Jew. Different movements hold different requirement to be a Jew. They are called the proselyte.

My view:
It is confusing to determine what is Jew and who is a Jew. Different movement has different view, so which one is the real one?
Is Jew a race or a religion?
if one can convert to Jew, does that mean the rest of goyim can become jew and raise to higher level and become the chosen people?
If it is so, those who do not convert to be Jew must be masochist, isn't it?

So i think, there is no real Jew left in this world. even if they still exist, only a very small number left. So, they have no right to claim the Palestine land as theirs.
My mom once said to me, " i think jew's cruelty and arrogance are inherited from the 9 brothers of prophet Joseph which abandoned their brother in a well", and I responded "No way, the Jews today are not even related to them, they are fake!".

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Being 23

Last night i said to my mum, "umi, I'm going to be 23 tomorrow". and My mum responded, "yes, you are that old already. when i was at your age, i already has you".

See, now I'm one year older than yesterday, will i be a better person?

I'm always impressed at others' achievement. how come he/she can do so much in his/her life. how different am i compared to them.

At the age of 23, my mum gave birth to me while she was still studying, my dad has already crossed the Selat Melaka to get a better life, Siti Nurhaliza has already spread her wing to Japan. What about me?

So, Amalina, set your goal, plan your life, be what you wanna be, do what you wanna do, do not afraid to take risk, do not give up when you fail, live your life to the fullest. when the time comes, it's maybe your turn to shine. May Allah grant your wish so that you can contribute something to the world, to the religion, to the ummah, to the country, to the people. May Allah strengthens your heart so that you will overcome whatever that comes. Aminn..

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Which one??

Some of my classmates are going crazy over a gadget called iPod touch. It is claimed that this gadget will be very much help in one of our killer subjects this year which is pharmacotherapeutic. It started with some guys in my class and started to spread to sisters. If I'm not mistaken, 4 of our sisters have already own one and it is predicted that more will buy this gadget very soon.

Actually, I'm a bit depressed because I'm not good in pharmacotherapeutic so I also want one if it will help me to master the subject. The problem is I've no enough money. I just bought netbook lenovo ideapad S10-3 worth RM1349 and only some left. But I still want it. So I made a call to my dad and ask for help. Gladly, he is willing to lend some. so here comes the problem.

The actual purpose I wanna buy this gadget is for educational purpose, so I thought if I were to buy, I will choose the 8G one which worth RM779. However, the 32G seems appealing because the capacity is 4 times the former but worth RM1199 that is extra only RM420. So, which one should I choose? If I choose 8G, I fear that it performs slower but if I choose 32G, I fear that it defeats the original purpose since there are lots of spaces and I will end up downloading games, songs and many others which I'm sure will distract me... so WHICH ONE???

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Whine

I hate quiz when
  1. it is pop
  2. it covers more that it should
  3. i have no i pod
  4. it makes my heart go doki-doki in class
  5. i cannot pay attention to the lecture
  6. there is pile of notes for quiz on my table instead of note book to jot down the lecture (sounds familiar?)
  7. i feel like not coming to class because i worry for quiz in the evening
  8. there is less people coming to class until at some point other lecturers notice
  9. it takes my resting time
  10. it is unfair.. i want to cheat too
  11. i feel sad because i cannot i answer the question
  12. i whine and whine but there is nothing i can do about it
  13. i feel like I'm gambling my own future
  14. i lose control over my gpa and cgpa
  15. i lose control over my study time
  16. class feels gloomier on the quiz day, everybody keeps on studying and i can see stress are all over their faces
  17. i have to mark other's quiz paper and i don't know how to give mark because the question is subjective and people have 1001 ways of answering
And lastly i hate Google image!! seriously!!!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Complaint

Ini adalah entry yang penuh dengan komplen

Sem ni seperti yang sumer maklum, mid sem dimansuhkan n digantikan dgn kuiz. seriesly aku xkesah pun tapi yang penting bagi aku adalah planning menjayakan sesuatu keputusan tu. dalam subjek QA, ade satu term yang aku br belaja iaitu: Quality design, tapi seriusly, bg aku system baru ni mmg dah fail dari design lagi. ade design ke tak pun aku tak sure.

Waktu matric dulu pun ade quiz, ade tutorial, but ok je, aku takde pun rase tension or geram ke. Sistem lagi teratur, markah pun taklah rely on kuiz semata2. Maybe someone patut diantar balik ke matric untuk mengkaji system yang digunakan.

Lagi, sistem baru ni membebankan aku sbbnya aku jadi tak flexible, kalau asyik subjek tu je nak buat kuiz, subjek2 lain bile pulak aku nak study.

Pastu aku nak komplen pasal SLT. it is claimed that time allocated for student to study are one hour before class, one hour in class and one more hour after class. betul ke?? kalau kelas hr ni 6hours, so maknanya aku kene study malam semalam 6 hours, malam ni another 6 hours. ok fine, so mcm mane pulak 6 hours class tomorrow?? jangan dilupa report, assignment, presentation. so persoalannya, betul ke bagai dikata?

So, bagi aku, sem baru ni mmg xde perancangan langsung, hanya try n error je, klu ok oklah, klu x ok, student punye salah.. dan sebenarnye, midsem bukan dimansuhkan, tp dibanyak-kalikan..

So in conclusion, blehh.. aku stress!!!!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Kucing gen 2

Minggu lepas rancang nak balik tapi tak jadi sebab ade hal lain kena buat kat UIA so aku pun stay jela kat bilik sorang2. Tibe2 rase rindu kat anak2 kat rumah so aku pun suruh la adik aku upload gamba anak2 aku yang dia ambil gune handfon samsung wave die yang baru tu. Agak rindu jugakla dengan samsung die tuh pasal sebelum die balik jordan sempat jugak aku gune main asphalt 5. memang best lahhh


Semalam sebelum tido aku pun download la fail gamba tersebut... dan inilah gamba2 kucing generasi ke2 aku :::>

Dalam kotak IKEA ni adalah noneng dan anak-anaknye: comot n kuning kecik. comot n kuning kecik suke tidur kat jendela


Mmm.. cak!!
Comot pulak suke main dalam pasu..



yang ni kuning besar, die sepesel sbb die boleh melunjur kaki


Ni pulak adalah kelabu...


Wawawa.. rindunya, cepat la raya, x saba nak balik nihh.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Manga online

I started reading manga online about 3 years back when I started using celcom broadband. before that my manga access is by buying kreko, arena komik and manga books published by Comics House and Tora Aman. I first read manga online at Onemanga and then switch to Mangafox and some other websites. The good things about manga online are they are free, there are more options and readers have the privilege which to read and you need not to go to shop and then find places to locate your books and magazines. Moreover, there are updated. The bad thing is when the manga got licensed, the manga will be pulled off from the website. But still you still can browse through the net and if you are lucky you can find it elsewhere. Before this, I noticed there are debates whether manga online is legal or not, about the copyright, piracy bla bla bla, but i don't go deep into it.

However this morning when I want to take my drugs ( well, manga that is), I found something is wrong with the website. this is how mangafox appears. i tried several times, but still no access.

Then i tried onemanga, the website is still alive but there is message appears

"It pains me to announce that this is the last week of manga reading on One Manga (!!). Manga publishers have recently changed their stance on manga scanlations and made it clear that they no longer approve of it. We have decided to abide by their wishes, and remove all manga content (regardless of licensing status) from the site. The removal of content will happen gradually (so you can at least finish some of the outstanding reading you have), but we expect all content to be gone by early next week (RIP OM July '10).

So what next? We're not really sure at this point, but we have some ideas we would like to try out. Until then, the One Manga forums will remain active and we encourage all of you to continue using them. OMF has developed into a great community and it would be a shame to see that disappear.


Regardless of whether you stay with us or not, on behalf of the One Manga team, I would like to thank you all for your unwavering support over the years. Through the ups and downs you have stuck with us, and that is what kept us going.


As a certain Porky was fond of saying... That's all folks!


Time for me to go lay down and let this all sink in.


- Zabi"


I was like IS IT FOR REAL?? It was like a death penalty to me. Good thing mangatraders is still alive. Seems like i will have to download top mangas that i haven't read. Maybe i will switch back to Kreko and Arena komik (which cost me at least RM5 each) for some time until this chaos will get better (hopefully) and if i were to buy english manga at borders it costs me at least RM40 each!!. Oh my, i really need these drugs (mangas) or i will get really really really depressed....................................
Damn it! Damn it! publisher sucks!! Grrrr (gritting teeth)



Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Oh My 3X

I was just watching a must see which also a mustn't see Korean movie.. Oh my gosh. the storyline is so beautiful beyond words, it is so twisted.. I myself don't know which side should i be. the bad thing is, too many unneeded scenes. i must say if one wants to watch this movie you HAVE to have a very very high tolerance towards something that is so taboo in your life. You may feel disgust at the middle of the story and towards the end you will feel sad, to me at least.. It is very recommended to read the synopsis first, if you think you can endure, just go ahead.. Oh my gosh, Tikah, what movie are you giving me???

Title: A Frozen Flower
Synopsis: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Frozen_Flower

Friday, July 2, 2010

boycott, motherland

1) BoycottToday is a month and a day after humanitarian aid ship, Mavi Marmara and her six vessels were attacked by the rogue state, Israel which killed at least 9 and injured many others. Israel received spontaneous condemnation from the world except from her very close ally, U.S. Israel is fast in diverting public opinion by alleging the ship as a hate ship, not a love ship. As it is hard to digest by logic, Israel insisted to run her own investigation on her own crime but nothing is impossible since Israel is always above the law. The Jewish state seems invincible because the economy, politic and media are controlled by them. as Mahathir once said, "Jews rule world by proxy". Thus as a human who wants justice, who refuses to let my money to be used in killing and hurting others, i would like to call again and again to boycott products from Israel and from companies who support them. I admit that their products quality is so good and no other products could surpass theirs yet, but we won't die if we don't buy them but people will die if we do. And I really hope the boycott is not temporary but long lasting. Please remember the faces of those who are dying in Gaza when you feel the urge to buy the products. They need us..


2) Motherland

I don't know whether I'm the right person to say this. Whether I'm qualified enough to speak about it. I am a daughter of an immigrant and a local couple. I am classified by constitution as Malay who is Muslim and practice Malay adat. I'm not good in politic. Hell i will avoid to discuss about it. But even so, I still feel sad, I feel threatened. I feel that in no time this land will no longer be ours, the land will be snatched from us right in front of our eyes. I'm not sure who the snatchers would be, maybe the people from inside, maybe from outside. Who knows. Geographically,in south east Asia, there are only 3 countries where the majority are Muslims, namely Malaysia, Indonesia and Brunei. But we are not in a good term with our neighbors. For me it's important if we could maintain this because Muslim minority in all over the world are suppressed and I feel lucky I could practice what I believe freely without fear in this country. But who knows will this be the same in the future?
Call me pessimistic, call me negative, but I fear that this country will end up like Palestine if we keep on sleeping. I know Malaysia is not part of the promised land but still, the land is precious to us.
If that happen, will i blame the evil snatcher?
No, i will blame the weak us, the sleeping us, the lazy us. The us that like to fight each other for power and money. The us that like to bribe and be bribed. The us who fail to recognize who to fight and who to befriend. The us who cannot walk without walking stick. The us who cannot stand without somebody to pull. The us who cannot move forward without being pushed. I hope I can break free from the curse that entangle us..

Lirik Anak Kecil Main Api (Versi Lama)

Anak kecil main api
Terbakar hatinya yang sepi
Air mata darah bercampur keringat
Bumi dipijak milik orang

Nenek moyang kaya-raya
Tergadai seluruh harta benda
Akibat sengketa sesamalah kita
Cinta lenyap di arus zaman

Indahnya bumi kita ini
Warisan berkurun lamanya
Hasil mengalir ke tangan yang lain
Peribumi merintih sendiri

Masa depan sungguh kelam
Kan lenyap peristiwa semalam
Tertutuplah hati terkunci mati
Maruah peribadi dah hilang

Kini kita cuma tinggal kuasa
Yang akan menentukan bangsa
Bersatulah hati bersama berbakti
Pulih kembali harga diri

Kita sudah tiada masa
Majulah dengan maha perkasa
Janganlah terlalai teruskan usaha
Melayu kan gagah di nusantara
Melayu kan gagah di nusantara
Melayu kan gagah di nusantara



Thursday, May 6, 2010

Murdered kitten

Last night, after feeding my cats and kittens, and watch over them when they litter, i brought all the kittens to my brother's bedroom. They run, they cuddle each other and play happily. then when it's about midnight, i want to go to my bedroom. usually, i will locked them in the basket since the cage is outside the house and I'm afraid they will feel cold. but last night, i didn't since they were sleeping on the floor together with their mothers. i close the door and take a 8 months male cat named Kuning to sleep with me and left the rest in the room since my mum is sleeping there too. and then i suddenly wake up because i thought it's already morning, i open the window of my bedroom so that Kuning can go outside if he wants to. then i continue to sleep. i woke up back when i heard cats fighting in my bedroom. i saw a tomcat is inside my room and i chased him out. suddenly, i felt the urge to check on my kittens. i was seriously in shock when i saw blood under my brother's bed. i screamed calling my mother to come. At that time i only saw 2 of my kitten lying in flood of blood. the blood was dried already. i looked around looking the other three. my mum has started crying while my heart was throbbing looking for them. first i only found one behind the door, then one on the treadmill and another one in the kitchen's cabinet. i felt so relieved. my mum asked me which has died. when i said Gapi and Capang my mum was wailing because Gapi is biggest and the 2nd cutest. my mum then lift the died kitten and put them in the plastic and i put the plastic inside the cage. i then washed the bloody room and put the rest of the kitten in my bedroom. they were in fact sleeping next to me as i wrote this.

when i googling about male cat kill kitten, i found that actually the male will smell the scent of the kitten, if the kitten is not his offspring, the cat will kill them to prevent the offspring of another male to be arisen. moreover, if the kitten is killed, the mother will have no kitten to take care of and thus the female will enter into heat phase and start mating. this will give chance to the male to mate the female and keep his line of gene. how does the male cat kill, they will bite the nape of neck of the kitten and violently shake them. this will break the neck bone of the kitten and as the result, the kitten die.

i really regretted that i didn't take the kitten which were suckling at that time from their mother and locked them up, or at least bring them to my room so that i can watch over them the whole night. i finally realized why cat give birth to several kittens at a time and can get pregnant up to 3 times per year. it is because their lifespan is actually short especially kitten and there is so much risks for them to grow where they may become prey of another male cat, they may become subjected to poisons, and may be infected with illnesses. Alas, they were dead already. if i can rewind the time, i will fix the situation, but i can't. just wait if i ever catch the evil tomcat, seriously i will beat him and throw him away from my house, may be at KT town.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Ujian


Baru-baru ini aku ditimpa ujian dari Ilahi. Sungguh aku kelu dan terkedu, tapi aku cuba gagahkan diri, cuba menahan air mata dari membasahi pipi. Namun segagah-gagah aku cuba berdiri, hatiku tak mahu menyepi, terus membisik-bisik, berdesir-desir membuat aku merasa gundah di hati. Aku sebenarnya sudah puas, sudah rentan diuji begini. Namun aku masih mahu cuba menyelami hikmah di sebalik yang terjadi. Aku cuba mencari punca, cuba mencari sebab mengapa aku diuji.

Mungkin Allah masih menyayangi, mungkin banyak yang perlu dibaiki, banyak yang perlu diubati. Aku akui, mungkin aku terlalu ikuatkan duniawi. apa yang kumahu, semua kan kuperolehi. Namun, mungkinku alpa, jadi Allah mahu kusedari, hidup di dunia bukanlah hakiki.

"Experience is the best teacher".
Selagi kita tak mengalaminya sendiri, kita takkan menghargai, kita takkan memahami. Bukan tidak pernah ku ketahui, sebelum ni banyak sudah yang terjadi. Namun, ku hanya sekadar mampu mendengar, hanya mampu bersimpati. Tapi pabila kita sendiri mengalami, baruku tahu, betapa perit yang perlu ditempuhi. Tapi, selain denau yang harus kulangkahi, aku juga peroleh pengajaran yang takkan kulupa sampai mati.

Sabar dan Redha
Hidup takkan sepi dari diuji. Satu demi satu harus kita lalui. Namun, aku tahu dan percaya, DIA menguji hambaNYA dengan ujian yang pasti mampu dihadapi, untuk melihat seteguh mana iman di hati. Jadi, untuk menerima ganjaran dan kasih dari Ilahi, sabar dan redha harus dimiliki. Usah dikeluh usah dirintih lagi, sungguh Allah sentiasa disisi.

Muhasabah
Kadangkala, musibah diberi untuk diteliti. Adakah kita masih di landasan yang hak, atau sudah tersimpang jauh dari Ilahi. Jika kita perhati dan muhasabah kembali, kita pasti dapat jawapan yang dicari. Maka dapatlah kita memperbaiki diri dan tidak mengulanginya kembali.

Masih sayang
Di dunia serba moden ini, kadangkala kita terlalu busy, hinggakan kita jauh dari Ilahi. Jadi ditimpakanNYA ujian berkali-kali, menyedarkan kita, pada siapa harus ku taruh harapan, ku pinta sokongan. Maknanya Allah sayangkan kita, tidak mahu kita terus tenggelam dengan noda.

Sesuai dengan diri
Nilai harta berbeza-beza untuk setiap insani. Jika Allah mahu menguji, sudah pasti berdasarkan kepentingan harta dimiliki. Jadi usah dipertikai lagi mengapa aku diuji seberat ini.

Hanyalah pinjaman
Kecewa dirasa pabila harta lesap dari mata.Rasa tak keruan tidak terhingga. Sudah-sudahlah, itu sebenarnya bukan milik kita. Ianya hanyalah pinjaman semata dari yang ESA. Jadi, janganlah terlalu berputih mata, bermuram durja. Tuan empunya hanya meminjam sahaja, tiba masa kita pulangkanlah semula.

Sedari kecil sudah kuterapkan kata-kata ini:
" jika kau rasakan masalahmu terlalu berat, sesungguhnya masih ada insan yang masalahnya berkali ganda lagi berat" - Kak Irma
"Apa yang terbaik pada pandangan kita tak sebenarnya baik pada pandangan Allah"

Dari majalah mingguan wanita
"setelah berlapar ada kenyang, setelah haus ada kepuasan, setelah berjaga malam ada tidur nyenyak, dan setelah sakit ada kesembuhan.
Setiap yang hilang ada pengganti, dalam kesulitan ada kemudahan, setiap kegelapan ada terang benderang, dan setiap pengorbanan ada ganjarannya. Hanya masa yang menentukan kerana Allah mahu menguji tahap kesabaran dan keimanan kita"

See, duhai hati, sesungguhnya jadi Muslim itu tidak rugi. Walau setajam mana jalanan berduri harus dilalui, percayalah Allah sentiasa memerhati dan sentiasa di sisi. Jika iman tebal di jiwa, insyaAllah ada ganjaran untuk kita.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Long hand


Long hand or in Malay panjang tangan is a simpulan bahasa for those who like to take other people's things without the owner's permission which also known as pencuri. mereka ni don't care about time when to curi barang. anytime, anywhere they standby all the time.. they also don't care whether the owner will sembahyang hajat or bace yasin or berdoa to the Almighty so that the pencuri will get the balasan later. "so what?" is what the pencuri would say. if only Allah's law is enforced, maybe they won't steal any other orang punye barang anymore because they have serik already since their hands are already cut off.

why i write about this culprit? because my sweetheart, DELL 11z purplish color together with his(his?) new friends, nokia and ZTE modem have been kidnapped by the pencuri. Owh i so pity them. It's okay, maybe our jodoh is meant only for almost a month. I have to let you go because even though i love you all with all my heart, you are only harta dunia, anytime i can find those similar with you. Don't be sad okay.. And for the pencuri, mujurla I'm Muslim, which i believe in qada n qadar, angel of Atid n Raqib, heaven n hell, and prayer of org dianiaya will be granted. So, we may not confront each other in this worldly world, so we deal in the hereafter jela. wait for me at day of mizan okay. ^3^ muah..

Friday, March 12, 2010

What i learn today



Life is not easy. You interact with people and you try to live to the fullest, without neglecting the principles of life that you believe. however when dealing with people, you never know when you strive to live in your ideal life, you hurt people without knowing and people hold grudge unto you and when you have to face the reality, people actually hate you. You try to limit the interaction as little as possible but as impossible as it sounds, you could never escape.

Thus what i learn and what i can conclude , in interacting with people:
  1. Never ever think positive, those people actually hate you
  2. Never assume, as assumption is very dangerous
  3. When you have problem with certain people, settle the problem, never keep it
  4. Never blame, never attack, ask first
  5. Never post your frustration on newspaper, social network or whatever, better deal personally with the people first, maybe that person has the reason.
  6. Never listen from one side, as the other side might have different stories
  7. When people act differently from your logic, find out the reason
  8. Don't spread out stories before you figure out the real situation
  9. If you want to advice, never use harsh word even if you think that person is at fault.
  10. When you think you are at the right side, never forget the opposite party also think the same thing
  11. When people did some mistake in the past, or when people did something that annoy you, never use it back to judge or even attack that person. you never know, whether that person realize that he/she has done the mistake, sometimes, you yourself see things in a wrong way
  12. Never use intermediaries in solving problems, sentences may be interpreted differently if other people say them. better you yourself convey the message
  13. apologize and forgive even if you think you are at the right side. this also apply to the outsiders
  14. Be open and welcome critics
There are actually many things that i learn today. All of these come from the real story. I directed this to myself and also to the others. I admit I made mistake and I hope others will do the same things. You never know when will the same problem strike you. I really really appreciate it if those who have problems with me before, present or in the future come and discuss personally with me. InsyaAllah, with open heart, I will try to accept. but one thing for sure, I do my best and hope for the best in everything I do. Not only the best for me, but for others too.