NO GAIN WITHOUT PAIN??

Like i have written before, the world works in equilibrium. to get something you have to pay an equal amount. however in some situation, the equilibrium concept might not work. even after you have paid a very big amount, even if you shed tears and bloods, even if you lose your precious time, even if you risk your future in it, you might get little of what's you are hoping for, you may even got nothing. in the end you may even get extra gloomy, extra sadness, extra tears flowing on you cheeks, extra hatred, and you may even hurt yourself.

i try my best not to reveal my anger, not to unveil my disappointment, and i try my best not to write in this blog during the climax of my anger. i hope everything will settle out when the time comes. i try to cope with the problem, i try to be positive, i try to put trust on people, i try to push everything done, but it ends up uselessly. i keep reminding myself to believe that people knows his role, people knows his responsibility and he realizes that we live for something. everyone is born to play his very own role. just realize it and you will know where to stand. you will know why you are here. if you realize that, the system will run smoothly. and you know, you are not responsible only for your own self. others' fate will also depends on you. and it's not a very little thing that you can see with only one eye. it is really a heavy and tough task. everybody else will bear the brunt of what you are doing and also of what you're not doing.

i'm not looking for perfectness. i myself is not perfect. i also blame myself for being so stupid, clumsy, idiot and whatever you can think of. but at least please grant me with your cooperativeness, please grant me with your passion and please grant me your interest. i really don't care if you are slow, i don't care if your cgpa is low than standard and i don't care for whatever you are. but i do care if you think that just ok is enough. I do care if you are so ignorant of what you should do, i do care if you think you can escape from you responsibility and let others burden by it. seriously, please and please change your mindset. world doesn't work that way.

one said marks doesn't reflect of what you are, of what your level of knowledge are, of how good you are. however, this is the measure adapted in the rest of the world. so i really mind of my marks and i advise you should too. one even said don't hate the person but hate the action, but i don't think i can do that. once you break my heart, once you break my trust, i may hate you forever. i may look like this, but i have anger, so don't ever try my patience. i really hate using feeling to manage something. i really hate subjective things, i use objective in most of my doing. so please don't force me to do what i hate the most.

whatever it is, i guess i have to say sorry for those who have listened to my wailing, my whining and cursing. you may hear them again when i'm annoyed, so i apologize in advance...

Gadoh

Since mid semester exam will be coming in less a month, I swear to myself not to waste time surfing the internet anymore. I'm quite addicted and it's hard to control my withdrawal so I broke the promise.

As I surfing and cruising the internet, reading blogs and watching videos in you tube, I found a blog that promote the readers to watch movie titled GADOH.

i spent about two hours tonight just to watch the movie. and you know, usually i will feel guilty after spending hours for internet, but not tonight. I feel content by just watching it. Even though the storyline is simple, but it still worth it. Some of us are still ignorant about this issue even though we have lived together for decades. so I hope this movie will open our eyes on how others see us and also on how we see them and thus will correct our and their false impression. And even if it is true, we can still improve ourselves so that others will never look down on us again.

lets move towards unity and correct the misunderstanding between us.
Peace..

Gadoh part 1

Daymn!!!

First day going to ward hospital already makes my day so frustrated. All are good until one of the patient's file was not at the place it should be. My friend and I went to the nurse wearing blue uniform there to ask for the file.
I'm so unlucky since i don't know what the file's name is. so i said to the nurse it's the first i'm going there I'm so unfamiliar with the stuff there. the nurse insisted to know what's my answer, so i asked the seniors. but she still didn't want to accept the answer. WTF!!.
and i also got scolded for calling her 'kak', well fine i changed to 'cik', still i got scolded. and she continued her babbling where i feel like i really want to shut her mouth up. It's really fucking annoying. just correct me if I'm wrong, there's no need for you to raise your so fucking annoying voice to me. i can hear you.
I told this story to my lecturer and she said just ask her: "how should i address you, datin??". really, there is no need to be so arrogant with the color of uniform you are wearing. you are still human just like me, and you are Muslim for god sake. act like Muslim, correct me with hikmah. i will be more than happy to accept it.
My roommate who is medic student told me that i should call the nurse as 'sister'. what the heck!! Sister in Malay is kakak!! fool...

fuuh, lega gila.. kurang pahala puase aku hari ni..