Like i have written before, the world works in equilibrium. to get something you have to pay an equal amount. however in some situation, the equilibrium concept might not work. even after you have paid a very big amount, even if you shed tears and bloods, even if you lose your precious time, even if you risk your future in it, you might get little of what's you are hoping for, you may even got nothing. in the end you may even get extra gloomy, extra sadness, extra tears flowing on you cheeks, extra hatred, and you may even hurt yourself.
i try my best not to reveal my anger, not to unveil my disappointment, and i try my best not to write in this blog during the climax of my anger. i hope everything will settle out when the time comes. i try to cope with the problem, i try to be positive, i try to put trust on people, i try to push everything done, but it ends up uselessly. i keep reminding myself to believe that people knows his role, people knows his responsibility and he realizes that we live for something. everyone is born to play his very own role. just realize it and you will know where to stand. you will know why you are here. if you realize that, the system will run smoothly. and you know, you are not responsible only for your own self. others' fate will also depends on you. and it's not a very little thing that you can see with only one eye. it is really a heavy and tough task. everybody else will bear the brunt of what you are doing and also of what you're not doing.
i'm not looking for perfectness. i myself is not perfect. i also blame myself for being so stupid, clumsy, idiot and whatever you can think of. but at least please grant me with your cooperativeness, please grant me with your passion and please grant me your interest. i really don't care if you are slow, i don't care if your cgpa is low than standard and i don't care for whatever you are. but i do care if you think that just ok is enough. I do care if you are so ignorant of what you should do, i do care if you think you can escape from you responsibility and let others burden by it. seriously, please and please change your mindset. world doesn't work that way.
one said marks doesn't reflect of what you are, of what your level of knowledge are, of how good you are. however, this is the measure adapted in the rest of the world. so i really mind of my marks and i advise you should too. one even said don't hate the person but hate the action, but i don't think i can do that. once you break my heart, once you break my trust, i may hate you forever. i may look like this, but i have anger, so don't ever try my patience. i really hate using feeling to manage something. i really hate subjective things, i use objective in most of my doing. so please don't force me to do what i hate the most.
whatever it is, i guess i have to say sorry for those who have listened to my wailing, my whining and cursing. you may hear them again when i'm annoyed, so i apologize in advance...
2 comments:
sy fhm perasan awak tp inilah hakikat kehidupan mal.
Eventhough we are living in the same world,but the truth is we work with different kind of people,with different perspectives,abilities n ideologies.So,we cant assume that people are like us.The way people thinking or even their sensitivity are differs from all others.And these will influence their action in making decision.If they dont take it as a serious matter as what you do,you will never get what you expected from them.That's y people cannot get along in this life and politics come into play with different manifestos,ideologies,belief and so on.
I feel sorry for you.I know how much you work for all of these thing but believe me,you will be rewarded and paid for all the hard work and efforts that you have give if your intention for the sake of Allah and you will achieve something that are more valuable,maybe not taday,maybe not tomorrow but soon for the rest of your life.:-)
hiya
just registered and put on my todo list
hopefully this is just what im looking for looks like i have a lot to read.
Post a Comment